Job Hunting in the Jungle

Gun for hire

Looking for a secure, well paid job in Phnom Penh can be a daunting and self-effacing experience. In a country where the average worker earns around $50 a month, it seems rather greedy to be on the hunt for a gig that will pay many more times than that but show me a westerner that will work for $50 a month and I will bend over and show you flying pink pigs. If you do not come into the country on an expatriate package with all the trappings attached, you are just another western number looking for a job. Further still, if you are not a career NGO worker, a professional English Teacher or a cashed up entrepreneur, you are an even smaller number. You will need skin like a rhinoceros and the persistence of Wily Coyote to brave out the often lengthy process.

“Remember, in the zoo that is the Phnom Penh job hunt, only the strong survive whilst the meek get mauled.”

Back home in the west, the papers carry huge sections devoted to government, private, health and education sector employment. If you have a resume that reflects solid experience and achievements within your relevant field, you can usually pick and choose from the various job advertisements. Here in Cambodia, you have no such luxury. You might see the odd job advertisement that is an exact match to your skill sets, but they are rarer than the Cambodian Zebra. Guaranteed when you do see that Zebra, there are quite a few other job hunters out there all aiming their gun at the same quarry. I recently went for a job interview where 3 of us were interviewed out of 60 applicants. I felt privileged to just be at the interview! Two of us were then selected for a final and after an agonising two week wait I was told my shot had missed and the Zebra had been bagged by a better person. Better? Surely NOT!

Apart from looking in the papers, one thing that works no matter where you are in the world is social and business networking. Cambodia runs on networking and if you cannot network (and drink like a fish), you will be all alone in the jungle and down the bottom of the food chain. I have met some extremely interesting people whilst out and about in Phnom Penh and some of those people hold fairly senior roles in solid companies. Remember, in the zoo that is the Phnom Penh job hunt, only the strong survive whilst the meek get mauled. Pump the flesh, join associations, play sport, buy the beer, get to know people, pump more flesh and don’t be afraid to ask your new colleagues the question “Can you use someone with my skill sets?”. Why, recently I emailed the Chairman of one of Cambodia’s largest banks after having met him at a social soiree. Unfortunately he could not help me BUT he was more than happy to receive my details and was helpful with his response. Could I have done that in the west? I doubt it.

Of course, once you have secured that job finally, you have to hope there are no hidden surprises and that your contract is honored. Did they forget to mention that the job entailed regular visits to Snoul? Did they not mention that the Health Insurance in your contract was only available to Khmer nationals (and there you were riding around on your motorbike thinking you were insured!).” Oh! Sorry!”. I relocated to Cambodia having secured what seemed like a solid private sector job only to be told within the first twenty minutes of arriving that “you had better keep 3 months salary in the bank because we have cash flow problems and you may not get paid…” .Needless to say I was retrenched within 6 months.

Welcome to the jungle. Now where is my gun and where is that next zebra!

Interview with a young carwash attendant

Name; Yim Saveth
Age; 14
Occupation; Carwash attendant

“I would like to be a Government man. They have nice cars and they do not seem to work very hard.”

On a hot afternoon in September, we took our bikes to a local carwash venue to get our bikes scrubbed up after a long trip in the mud. As the bikes were swarmed over by young carwash workers like bees on a honeycomb, one young lad stood out with his attention to the task at hand. Once the bikes were finished I engaged this young lad in conversation and this is his short story.

Saveth, you look very young! How long have you been doing this job and why do you work instead of going to school?

I have been working here for only 4 months. I just moved from the provinces to the city to live with my Grandma because my mother could not take care of me. I was in school but I had to stop.

Do you miss going to school or do you like working?

I do miss my school but I like to work because we have a lot of fun and laugh with each other and I can earn some money for my family. Some people think I am too young too work but I am a man so I can do this job easily.

How many hours do you work and how much do you get paid?

I work 6 days from 7a.m until 7p.m and get paid about $30 a month. I can make more with tips. Like today you gave me 2000r!

What has been your biggest tip yet?

Last month a big Lexus came here with Senate number plates. I worked very hard to get the car clean – much harder than the other washers. Afterwards the driver called me over and gave me $2! I don’t have to share my tips but I shared some with my friends.

What cars do you like washing the most? What cars don’t you like washing?

I like washing the small cars because I can reach all over them and can wash the roof too. Cars like Ticos are easy to wash and we can do them very quickly but we laugh because the smaller the car, the smaller the tip ! I do not like washing Hum Vees because they scare me. They look like a big monster and I cannot even see the roof! Also sometimes the drivers of Hum Vees scare me a bit too because they are very serious looking men. I don’t like getting inside them in case I damage the car and then make the owner mad. If I see a Hum Vee coming in I usually run and hide (laughter).

Does it bother you being wet all day?

No, I like it .This is a good job because it is very hot sometimes in the city and we are always able to get under the water to stay cool!

Speaking of Phnom Penh, how do you find life in Phnom Penh compared to your home province?

At first I did not like it at all. The city has a lot of people and is hot and smells. Then I started to like it because I made new friends and everyday I see things I would never see at home. I miss my animals though. At home we have many chickens and pigs and cows everywhere and I used to take care of them.

Saveth, if you could be whatever you wanted to be in the future what would that be?

I would like to be a Government man. They have nice cars and they do not seem to work very hard. They just go around and meet each other and drive their cars fast with their horns on. I think that sounds like a good job. Also I would like to be a mechanic because I really like cars and engines but I do not know much about them so I would have to study first.

Saveth, thanks for your time, you did a great job on our bikes and I wish you good luck with your future.

Thank you and also thanks for the tip. My Grandma will be happy!

Photos of "My Monk"

Here are just a few photos of "My Monk" as I now call him. In these photos, he is choosing our wedding date which, as it was deemed, will be February 3,2008. He and I are now good freinds and he is very itnerested in my life here. We speak in broken French and Khmer and funnily enough, I get a good deal of solice from speaking with him.

Partying in Phnom Penh with Matt Dillon

So on Friday night a group of us decided to hit the First Friday ( of every month ) party at Elsewhere Bar, a lovely old French colonial Villa.. It is the Phnom Penh equivalent of the Playboy Mansion without the superstars and without the Grotto and in high season the parties get out of control as backpackers,expats and tourists alike descend on the compound and get absolutely shitfaced, dance like heathens and throw themselves into the pool.

As we sat their guzzling mojitos amidst the verdant garden, who should stroll past except Matt Dillon. He of the Wild Orchids fame and the major star of a security footage video shot in the pool area of a 6 star Sydney Hotel. Matt starred with two hookers in that one and whilst it was a sterling performance, no Oscars were awarded. Back in the 90s Matt made a great flick called City of Ghosts. Starring Gerard Depardieu and James Caan, it was set in Cambodia and used many buildings we are all familiar with as its settings. Apparently Matt still has interests here and visits from time to time so we sat back and watched the throng as they posed for photos and shook his hand. He was being bloody good about it all but alas were all too ripped to get up of our lazy arses.

Also starring in City of Ghosts in a very short cameo was a young Australian guy called Ian...or "Snowy" as we all know him. He has a fight in a brothel with a Khmer guy and then gets thrown out but his thick Australian ascent is undeniable. Snowy runs a famous bar here called,variously...Maxine's Pub ( his Daughter's name), The Blue Bar ( what the French call it because it is an old blue house ) or what it is most widely known as....."Snowie's". It is perched on the banks of the Tonle Sap river over the Japanese Bridge looking back towards Phnom Penh and it is a simply amazing bar. Over the years he has collected an eclectic collection of Indochinese artefacts and the entire place is lined with little brass bells that tinkle when the wind blows through the place. With its amazing sunsets and truly Asian feel, it is a legend in this city. Sadly, development is threatening the existence of the place as developers buy up riverfront property. It would be a shame to see it go for sure.

Anyhooooow, another weekend passes in Phnom Penh and it was capped off by a fatal shooting right in front of the Aussie owned Gym Bar on Street 178. An RCAF ( Royal Cambodian Armed Forces) 4wd was sprayed with 15 bullets and the occupants were killed. I rang Leakhena straight after i got an SMS warning from a friend and as I knew she was coming home from work about that time I wanted to tell her tot stay away from St 178 but she had driven right past it and saw the aftermath !


Only in Phnonmm Penh.....and maybe Beirut.

The Job interview

Having recently been retrenched ( the day after I got back from KL to sell the company's new product- nice ! ), I have just completed the second and final round of interviewing for a potentially great job as Property Manager for a Property Developer based here in Phnom Penh. The property is a 60ha site with the best private school inCambodia ( 300 kids) , apartments,houses and top notch facilites like swimming pools, gyms and football fields etc. It's the Eton of Cambodia and costs around $12,000 a year which is huge here. It also has apartments and houses for expats and it basically a gated community that has been built slowly over the last 12 years and is now owned by Okna ( Sir) Kit Mheng's Royal Group, the most financially solid compny here. Last night Leakhena insisted we go to the Wat to get blessed by the monk we have been seign alot of and I agreed it was a good idea.

On arrival he beemed a smile at me and ushered me forward and I gave him the highest possible verbal greeting possible "Ganna som twai bong khum" which bought an even bugger smile from him and a remark about my khmer language which chuffed me ! He consulted his sacred writings in his well worn exercise books and asked me things like my borthday and the day of the interview and time etc etc.He then announced I would get the job ( this will test Buddha !) and told me I must light three sticks of incense the next morning ( interview day) and make a prayer to Buddha. We said our goodbyes and off I went home with the sual glow I get from a visit to the wise old monk.

This morning I lit my joss,said my prayers and made a wish and then suited up for my meeting with the CEO. It is now down to 2 candidates from 3 original interviews and 60 applicants. The money is fantastic, the future there could be very bright allt hings going to plan and I WANT THIS BLOODY JOB !

Wish me luck ! I should know by end of next week....

So you want to ride a motorbike in Phnom Penh ?

On the way to the Wat yesterday to pray for Buddha's help with my job interview, I witnessed a seriously sickening accident. It was sickening on a couple of fronts. As I crossed the intersection of Monivong and Sothearos, a large black Mercedes with no number plates and a thuggish looking brute at the wheel came up behind some motos that were stopped at the lights and simply went straight over the top of one. And I do mean OVER the top. Scooter and all. The hapless young scooter driving male was catapulted forward and then he and his scooter were run over and as I watched it all unfold I realised the hundreds of onlookers were all slack jawed. That says something about the seriousness of this accident because Cambodians see this shit every day. The Mercedes then turned right onto Monivong and went straight past 5 cops who just stood there. I fully expected them to run out onto the road and apprehend this bastard..but no. Off he went on his merry way. As I roared up behind him to get a look I realised his rear right tyre had blown and he was running his 20" rim to the ground but he was not stopping for anybody. I felt a range of emotions flood over me but the main one was anger. That young kid was hurt very badly and sure as hell will not have the money to pay for his injuries - if he survived at all! I wanted to follow the Mercedes driver and discreetly get his address but realised that could only lead to bigger trouble for me so I swallowed my bile and road on.

It also rammed home AGAIN how random life here is. I never saw ANY accidents at home in Australia (maybe one or two after clean-up stage) but here you REGULARLY see smashes.... and nasty ones too. Read any of my stories about riding to Sihanoukeville. They are strewn with incidents of a fatal nature. I could not help but think of the Australian lass that was killed in Phnom Penh recently by a red-light running car as she sat on the back of a motodop. She left 7 kids behind. I also couldn't help but think that it could have been me or one of my motorbike-riding mates under that Mercedes. We all know that the rich in Phnom Penh get away with ...literally...murder and that the poor are treated with complete contempt but to see it in action was really fucked. I wish a thousand painful deaths on that Mercedes driver and hope one day he gets some of the same. I hope he slips on the soap in the shower and smashes his head open. That's how angry I am/was. I hope he gets run over by a motodop as he steps onto the road one night and I hope that motodop does a runner.

So in light of yesterday, here are my motorbike riding survival tips for riding and surviving in Phnom Penh, one of the maddest and baddest cities in the world to be a moto rider. They are in actual order of importance as I see them;

- Have Insurance.Duh.

-Always wear a DECENT HELMET. The wind in your hair might feel great but watch someone's melon slit open once (I have) and you will see it isn't worth it.

-Drive DEFENSIVELY. Never EVER assume someone else is going to stop or give way to you. It is up to YOU to take care of yourself and your passenger.

-Drive SLOWLY. I drove too fast when I got here and now I have slowed down considerably. Sure it is fun to gun that 250cc down a main road in Phnom Penh and hear that engine growl but wait till that Hummer piloted by a Gangsta Wannabe comes through that intersection and totals you. No fun at all.

-ALWAYS use cars and other large vehicles as offensive linesman. If you have to turn across the oncoming traffic, use that car that is also turning as a barrier between you and the traffic speeding towards you. Follow Humvees. They might be driven by arseholes but they can be your best friend in peak hour.

-Always use your rear view mirrors to watch your back. Cambodians do not use rear-vision mirrors. They take them off their bikes because they think they look gay and the younger male riders travel at really really stupid speeds.

-Don't ride in flip-flops. Your feet are precious. Watch what happens when someone gets t-boned at high speed (I have) and they almost lose a foot. If you really want to you can just follow them into the operating room and watch them get their foot stitched back on (I did). Also, it is painful having your foot run over by another motorbike (I have). I actually ride with steel caps.

-If you must overtake, do it on the LHS of the vehicle on front - especially if it is a moto. That moto could more than likely pull into the curb quickly and your options then are limited.
The most dangerous Cambodians on the road are CHALY drivers. You know -those annoying little 50cc Mickey Mouse scooters? They are always driven by young kids with no experience and old people who should have stopped riding years ago. BE CAREFUL OF THEM.

There are probably others I have forgotten but these simple tips will keep you alive longer than most and will hopefully help you avoid becoming another statistic. Good luck out there. It's a jungle.