My mate Brian's MONSTROUS young lad ( I am sure he will represent Cambodia in Greco-Roman wrestling in 2020 !) turned one year old on Saturday so it was off to his house for a party with young Grace in tow. On arrival the BBQ and kitchen were turning out delicious food and the beer was flowing. We gave young Charlie a bottle of 12 year old Laphroig Single Malt whiskey which his father promptly confiscated and after politely declining the offer of stashing Grace out in the back room, we settled in to a nice couple of hours with friends.
Afterwards Stuart and I went off to watch Australia get smashed by South Africa in the Rugby but that's another story altogether.
Oh yeah..here is a photo of Brian and ( post-steroidal ) Charlie on Australia Day this year .....is there a pattern here ?
Last night Yay ( Leakhana's grandmother ) was escorted over to The Compound by Danay and Veasna. She had been kicking up a fuss back at the family apartment and demanding to see her new Great Grand Daughter.
For days now I have been mesmerised as I swim in the pool by the sight of a lone kite flying at impossible altitudes. This simple kite flutters away in the stratosphere and I have been scratching my head as to how you could get a kite into the air from such a crowded area with so many obstacles and wondered who the skilled pilot was. Today I got my answer. As I headed up to the rood for yet one more spot inspection of the heathenistic workers next door to make sure they wre NOT on our roof swanning around, I loked over the back railing and there was Panha's son ( our landlord ) deftly workgina s spool of twine. I noticed his line at actually snagged on the roof of the villa next door and so I scakled the wall and frfeed it for him. He gave me a huge smile and a wave and I gave him the universal "nice work son " two thumbs up.
You might remember I blogged recently about the dingle dongle sound of death and its hypnotic effect . Well..I spoke too soon. Yesterday within a nano-second, a huge marquee was erected at our front gates effectively almost blocking us into our house. I had seen a large gathering in a house across the road all day but was unaware it was was a wake.
Some quick thinking on my behalf and a quick chat to Vattey's bother saw us rejig the compound car lot. I parked my car in Jeff's spot ( as his Camry got washed away in the last street flood we had ) and we were then able to use the car later that night for a soiree.
After a long and tiring day of rushing around doing all manner of things, we were finally due to head out for Wendy's birthday party to be held at Talking To a Stranger.
I SMS'd Wendy first ; " Is this a baby friendly party or are you going to be running around nude ?"
Her answer ; " Cocktails, house music, nudity...just the usual"
My reply ; " Sounds perfect for Grace's first party experience...see you soon.."
So we packed the emergency pooper/milkshake bag and loaded Grace into the Jeep and off we went. She was wide eyed in the backseat and looked lovely in her I LOVE DADDY t-shirt ( Sarah - one more please ! ) and she was soon making a grand entrance at TTAS. She was passed from pillar to post and then settled in mum's lap to watch the disco lights and listen to DJ Dan's soothing music. Leakhana was positively glowing as a mum and I walked around with my chest puffed out all night " LOOK AT WHAT WE MADE !! ".
Mum, Dad ; We arrived at 7pm, I had two beers and two waters and I had my wife and child home by 10pm. Can you believe it ?
During a visit to the clinic to see Phalla and Tra, I happened to catch Nurse Sandy there giving Phalla a lesson on how to use her new Farlin Manual Breast pump. When I got home I mentioned this to Leakhana and she said she wouldn't mind the option of bottling some home brew as well for when she canot be buggered bringing out the boozy for the hundredth time or when we are on the move etc. I thought this sounded fair enough so off I went to Babys'R'Us ( a kids store near our house that is a blatant rip off of Toys'R'Us ) to get a Milkilator 5000.
I hovered between the Farlin manual and the Farlin Battery Driven model and in the end got the manual version and also a couple of bottles. I actually like going to the baby shops almost as much as Like going to hardware shops. That's a bit wrong isn't it ! Off home I went and after sterilising all the new equipment, we sat down and gave it a whirl. All I can say is BLOODY SLOW ! WE managed to get about 50cc into a bottle but it took an our or so.
A beer, a pool and squeaky money toy. Does it get any better ?
Ages ago I stayed in a mates villa down in Sihanoukeville and he had these huge earthen pots he collected rain water in. Much to Leakhanas horror, one day I jumped on one and found it was the perfect one man pool. So something I have always wanted to do is install my own pot and I have finally done it. It cost $15 and I have used it twice a day now for two weeks. I love it but I don't think Jeff is going to get into it with me .
I have found my little niche in earl weeks parenting . I cannot breast feed but I can change nappies and I can give Grace her bath every night which is my favourite thing to do becuase I get to wash her, talk to her,sing to her and tickle her and kiss her delicate skin and she is fully awake instead of in her usual milk-stupor ! Than I get to wrap her up in a warm towel and dress her. Awesome stuff.
Today we decided it was time for a family outing. Leakhana was going a bit stir crazy and I wanted to see what the logistics were of taking a baby put into The Penh. So we packed a small bag with a couple of nappies and some bum wipes and Grace was loaded into her travel capsule and strapped into the back seat.
Fist stop was the Clinic to catch up with Phalla. I had printed off a whole lot of info about Polydactyly and I got Leakhana to translate for me ; that it was very common, that she was in no way responsible ( Buddha was ) and that it was completely rectifiable. I also passed on a bunch of Doctors numbers I ad gained from friends here in town. We chatted and baby swapped and then hunger got the better of Leakhana and I and we said our farewells.
Next stop was the NGO restaurant Hagar. It was 11.15am and so our timing was perfect. We were able to park the Jeep at the front door and the staff all oohed and aahed as we walked in with Grace still comfortably encased in the capsule. We chose a table and then hit the delicious buffet and Grace was perfectly behaved until she too got a little hungry and let us know by having a quite little cry. To my amazement and pride, Leakhana just whipped out her boozy and fed Grace right there. Man,I love my wife ! A lot of Khmer mums would have demanded to go home to privacy but not my missus ! ( speaking of which, even Phalla is comfortable feeding in front of me now which I find really amazing ).
Last stop was the passport photo shop where I was personally attended to by no fewer than 6 lovely young girls who took Grace away from me and did their best to wake her up for some photos for the Australian Embassy. No luck, We had to abort the mission as Grace was full of milk and snoring like her dad.
Basically a great day out and I was very impressed with the way we handled it all.
Having a baby is an interesting trip. You have all these pre-conceived ideas and questions in your head about how they will look, what colour their hair,eyes and skin will be and what shape their head will be and of course you hope for a healthy and "normal" baby.".We never had pre-birth checks for abnormality and barring a few ultrasounds, it was really just "what will be will be ". So when the baby comes along you are just happy that it is alive and breathing and crying and eating and moving around.
Now consider Tra and Phalla's experience. Phalla's placenta was stuck to her uterus and was causing her to bleed heavily post-delivery and the doctor came out into the foyer and told Tra, Sandra and I in very brutal English that there was a high likelihood that that they were going to have to perform a hysterectomy to stop the bleeding or she would die. We were all of course super-worried about the bleeding but I really don't think Tra realised that a hysterectomy would mean no more kids in the future. So we got through that and the bleeding stopped thank Buddha.
Then when Sandra does the post c-section inspection, we discover that Tra and Phalla's little boy has TWO thumbs on his left hand. It's called Polydactyly and is a 1;2000 occurrence worldwide and common in Cambodia . Tra seemed to take it in his stride ( actually we all did - "wow..extra thumb now what about the rest of him ?! " ) but I know Khmer people are very concerned about physical appearances and so I know they now must be going through some emotional processes of acceptance etc. Or maybe not. Plus the little boy has wind and i crying alot so that is tiring them out. " Does Grace cry all the time ?" " er...no". I almost feel guilty !
AND when we get home Leakhana starts worrying about Grace's belly button protruding. Apparently she has a cousin in Kampot who is "ashamed" of her belly button's size. I can't really buy into this discussion because as I explain to Leakhana, we live in a 3rd world country and there are kids dying of starvation in the streets here in Cambodia and we have a stunning little daughter who will want for nothing. The button will more than likely change over time so why worry !
And at least we both came away without the challenges this little bloke in India faces.
After a pretty good nights sleep, we were awoken by a knock on the door at 5.30am. Time to get this baby party started right! Whilst Leakhana was whisked away from preliminary checks, I jumped in the car to go and get our mid-wife Sandra with firm instructions that they were not to start without us. On arrival back at the hospital, the Doctors were seen to be changing behind a glass frosted door and Sandra was handed a gown and mask and in she went. I decided to have a quick shower and get changed into some nice clothes for our baby’s arrival and as soon as I walked out of our room ( expecting to have a 10 minute wait or so ) I was met by Sandra coming out of the delivery room with a writhing, wet little bundle of joy. The feeling was amazing as I was handed my daughter for the first time. I know as a parent you are biased towards your own kid but I have to say, Leakhana and I produced a bloody cute baby!
2 become three
She was taken in for measuring and weighing and a general post-op clean up and was then given to me for a few photos. I had a few minutes with her before Leakhena was wheeled back in and a few minutes later the little blossom was firmly on mum’s nipple enjoying a nice mummy milkshake. Sandra was simply amazing. I don’t think the Khmer mid-wives were too happy having this white woman take over but I am glad she was there with us. She showed Leakhana how to breast feed and gave our baby her first little bath (much to the Khmers horror – they wanted to wait a day!) and generally took charge.
It wasn’t long before there was a knock on the door and a bunch of family arrived. Mum,Phalla,Veasna,Srey Pich and Srey Nek and Srey Pekall piled into
the room and it was a wee bit crowded. I beat a retreat to go and ring all my family and when I returned an hour and half later and the room was till overflowing, I graciously kicked them all out so the three of us good collapse into a deep sleep, which we did. We were woken a few hours later by a nurse with steaming tray of food and we noshed heartily. Well….I did. Leakhana could only manage a small meal of rice porridge. After that, we settled in for a night of CIA style torture as our little girl slept and ate in three hour cycles. By the end of it I wasn’t sure whether I was coming or going. My job was to position Leakhana for breast feeding with pillows and rolled up towels and then wait for the right moment to “dock” mother and child. I also had to change a couple of ..er…nasty nappies but having done before with nieces and nephews, I was a pro on the first attempt.
Come the morning I woke up at 8am with Srey Pich and Srey Neung and a nurse all cleaning the room and Leakhana was up and sitting in a chair. I showered and got ready for work and after a nice cuddle with our daughter, I headed off on the scooter which floated on air all the way to work.
Mother and Daughter
So the Phnom Pen is now a father. I will try not to let the log become a baby fest but will of course keep you in tune with the major events and random acts of cuteness.
After what has seemed like an eternity (9 months), our final weekend rolled around and reality started to kick in big time. On Friday afternoon I arrived home to find Srey Pich had arrived from Pailin and Srey Neung was also over. The girls were over to give Leakhana support and as they chatted away about all things babyesque, the excitement was obvious.A massive and prolonged rain storm rolled in and pounded Phnom Penh for hours leaving our street once again resembling a river and due to sheer work exhaustion, I left the girls to their own devices and beat an early path to bed around 7pm.
Saturday morning brought sunshine and the dreaded the humidity that comes after big rains and after briefly going to work to check on my sites, Leakhana and I headed to Russian market to buy some pyjamas. In the absence of any proper Mummy Milkshake tops for breast feeding we figured men’s pjs would make agood alternative but trying to find some without the dreaded Hello Kitty motif plastered all over them was easier said than done. In the end we had to relocate to Olympic market and we eventually found some great cotton snoopy and Charlie brown pjs which I bought in a flash as I was brought up on Charles Schultz comics.
It was then home to have a 2 hour nap before Leakhana headed over to her family’s apartment for some family time and I headed over to a work colleague’s head wetting party. Andy had a boy a month earlier to his Khmer wife and after stopping for some helium balloons, some kiddy socks and a case of beer as a present (they can never start to early ! ), I was soon kicking back at his house and marvelling at his little boy knowing that within 36 hours I would have my own child. Truly an amazing moment. After the head wetting a few of the lads headed out for Sushi and a couple more beers and I was home around 10pm, again exhausted. Srey Pek had come home with Leakhana and after a few games of pick up sticks, I had to retire.
Sunday, only one day left and now the feelings are really starting to run riot. I freak out and decide we don’t have enough nappies so I head over to Sovana Mall and buy 2x 64 packs of Drypers @ $10 a pack ( compared to $5 for 12 Huggys !! ) and I also finally find the Jenga game for the kids I have been looking for. STOKED ! I then head home and take Leakhana over for a swim at Ang and Paul’s which was much needed and very relaxing.
Back home and as we get out of the car it makes a weird sound and then spits hot water all over the road. Sounds like a blown radiator. Fantastic. $5 and 20 mins later the mechanics down the road have fixed it. God bless them!Its now time to pack the hospital bag .and unpack it….and repack it..and check it…once, twice..unpack it. Have we got everything? Baby wraps, diapers, facecloths, wet ones, baby oil, onesies (god. I cannot believe I now know what they are! ) beanies, socks, singlets.. CHECK .Mummy milkshake bras, grandma undies, snoopy pyjamas,nighties, comfy slacks..CHECK.Camera and spare batteries, phones and phone chargers, MP3 player and charger, Silk Light for ambience, wedding photos, flower vase, cartons of juice, 12 pack of water bottles, toiletries, bananas CHECK.
OK..let's hit it !
What do you mean there is no cable ?
You can imagine the look on the staff’s faces as we rocked up. I felt like David Beckham and Posh Spice coming through First Class with trolleys full of gear.So I am typing this sitting on the bed of our clean, quiet little room. I am sipping a glass of Vin Maipo Chilean red and Leakhana is playing cards on her bed. The feeling is unreal. Within 2 years of meeting we are having our baby. I am thrilled, excited and relatively calm . Every now and then we look at each other and just shake our heads and laugh. Tomorrow around 7am or so we will be parents and the next time I post as the Phnom Pen, I will be a father.
While waiting for Paul the other day, I took some photos of my favourite building in Phnom Penh,The Phnom Penh Central Post Office. It's location and the buildings around it were made famous in City of Ghosts ( featuring Matt Dillon, it is a great flick if you haven't seen it ) and it really is a nice piece of French Colonial Architecture. Surrounding Buildings in the same Square ;
View of new Art / Design and Technology Villa from b'ball court.
Today marks the return of all the kids to school and I had a sleepless night last night worrying about....well....everything. I was on deck this morning at 6am to ensure all my workers were off site ( they weren't...they were in the Villa's bathroom's having their morning showers ! ) and generally oversee the last hour . My foreman, Seilah, has used every available minute of time to bring in the project on time and his penalty rates were due to cut in today. His company has done a great job considering the 7 week time frame and I am going to take them out for a few ABCs some time soon. As I watched the kids spew onto the basketball court for a look at their new Art and Design Technology villa, I could hear the "WOW / COOL "! s and I was quite chuffed.
My favourite feature of the villa; We re-used the old teak for the machine room extension. Rubbed back and stained, it looks awesome.
I like the steel doors as well. Combined with the stained teak, I would love to do our house in Kep like this !
Downstairs ; Design and Technology space ( notice old green tiles we retained )
As we come into the home straight, Leakhana and I realised we were still short of some essential baby items so we loaded up the jeep with a pregnant sister and some midgets ( Nek and Pek ) and headed off to Psar Olympic for a shopping spree. We soon found ourselves in baby heaven and I was quite the novelty as I sat amongst the stalls crowded with rotund women all gabbling over the price of their purchases.
Like kids in a candy shop....
Leakhana ; "This bra looks like my grandmas ! "
Phalla ; "I can use this is a coconut holder when I am finished with it !.."
Excellent retail strategy; Put your baby clothes next to a dried fish shop because shopping is hungry work !
What we got for $40
In the end, we spent $40 and came away with ;
One rubber undersheet for the cot
One mosquito net for the baby ( looks like a big cake cover ! )
2 beanies
Bath toys
3 towels
5 sets of oversized undies
4 breast feeding bras with peek-a-boo nipple flap
Bra pads for soaking up any excess mummy milkshake
5 cute baby undies that go over the nappy
Pads for mummy
Not sure how much that would have cost back home but i think that was pretty bloody good !
I hope the saying " things come in threes" is true because I have had my fill of death lately. First my neighbor, then my uncle and now on the way to work this morning I pass the victim of a simple scooter collision some 200m from work's front door. As I drove down Norodom Bvd I came across a crowd of about 100 people stopping to gawk and there on the pavement was a shirtless middle aged man sprawled out covered in blood and dead. As mentioned before, I hate the way Khmers stop to watch other peoples misfortunes and I really wanted to wind down the window and scream at them all to FUCK OFF AND GET ON YOUR WAY !!
I am looking forward to posting some brighter stories......
My Ohm in April this year. Still looking healthy and enjoying crabs with Leakhana and I in Kep
Yesterday at around 2.00pm my Khmer Uncle from Kampot ( my mother-in-law's bother ) passed away in Calmette Hospital here in Phnom Penh.Coming on the back of my last blog entry, I feel pretty terrible to have to write about this . Leakhana and I had only just been speaking about him the night before and I had suggested we allow Ohm and his family to farm one of our blocks of land in Kep.She had thought this was a great idea and I was looking forward to talking to him about it as I think it would have made him very happy. He was with us when we bought the land and he really liked the block - just as I really liked him. We had a connection of sorts.I had introduced him to Dengue Fever on the car stereo during our land buying trips and I bought him all their CDs which I know he loved listening to. He in turn advised me on all things land buying / Kampot / Cambodia etc. He really was a fantastic guy and was the head of the clan.
Ohm had spent a month in Phnom Penh seeing doctors about 2 months ago. They had eventually said he was OK and sent him back to Kampot. He took a turn for the worse eventually and came baclk to the city a few days ago. Yesterday he slipped into a coma and soon passed away. By all accounts ( which were sketchy at best )Ohm died of stomach cancer. We were called by Tra at 2.30pm who said the ambulance would soon arrive to take him back to Kampot for the ceremony and cremation so we had to get to Calmette pronto. I drove the scooter home in torrential rain ,getting absolutely saturated in the process, and we then transferred to the Jeep for a wet,wild and wooly drive down Monivong Boulevard to Calmette Hospital.
On arrival at the hospital, the whole family were there looking very grim and Tra gave Leakhana and I both face masks and ushered us into the wards. What followed next will probably stay with me forever. As we walked through double door after double door, the chemical smell of hospital cleaning fluids combined with the dank smell of sick and death to overwhelm the senses. We eventually walked into what I now realise was Death's waiting room - a room with about a dozen people of all ages in various stages of their last minutes / hours. Grieving relatives were holding hands and crying and it was a jolt to the system. It was just about to get a lot worse.
We were then ushered through one final double door and there in front of me was my dead uncle. Ohm was pail and almost translucent. His daughters were there in emotional distress and his lovely wife was bedside herself with grief and was inconsolable. It broke my heart and I was lost for words. All i could do was let them all know I was there by hugging them one by one. I then looked to my Uncle's right and stretching down the room were another 6 or so dead people.More relatives in despair and an overwhelming air of sadness pervading the dank room. The young deceased girl next to ohm would have only been 14 or so and I guess she had been in a motorbike accident because she was heavily bandaged. In death, as in life, there is no privacy in Cambodia and everyone was in the same boat, same room grieving in full view of strangers. I really wish there was a curtain at least around each body so relatives could say their goodbyes .After 5 minutes or so I had to walk out as I was a shaking mess.
My uncle's body was eventually loaded into an "ambulance" ( a van with a sticker on it ) and then family were allowed to travel with him to Kampot. My last view of him was of his wife holding his hand and crying uncontrollably. She would be like that for the 3 hours to Kampot I am sure and I am very glad I was not in that van. The rest of the family will all travel to Kampot today for the ceremony but Leakhana and Phalla have decided to stay as they are both heavily pregnant. I would really like to have been there but work is just too hectic right now with handover being on Sunday. I feel pretty bad about not being there actually but we might go down on Friday afternoon.
I later asked Leakhana as we drove home if she had seen a dead body(s) before and she said " yes...many times ! ". I have NEVER seen a dead body let alone multiple bodies in a row and it really shook me up. I was shaking when I drove home and was in need of a really stiff drink and found myself wishing I had a bottle of whiskey at home. I didn't but I did despatch a few beers in rapid succession. I went to bed early and woke around 4a.m thinking of Ohm and the times we had together and how much I would miss him.
I just hope Buddha allows Dengue Fever to be played in heaven because I know Ohm would like that...........
Yesterday we had musical accompaniment to our usually nice quiet,relaxing Sunday. Just across the way, a family is ( and I say is because it is still going on ! ) holding a traditional Khmer funeral "wake". This is done 100 days after the death of the family member and is actually more of a celebration of their life. The most noticeable thing about one of these celebrations is the non-stop "dingle dongle" music. You know....that distinctly SE Asian music that sounds like a bamboo xylophone .
For a little while it is actually quite nice. It reminds you of where you are living and is really quite exotic. After 10 hours though, it gets bloody annoying and somewhat mentally hypnotic. Of course, the Khmer family have to play it at volume 11 as usual. The dingle-dongling stopped around 10pm last night and started again......wait for it....at around 5am this morning. I had not slept very well as it was .. A combination of reflux bought on by the spicy Indian chicken curry I cooked Leakhana for dinner and stressing again about my unborn baby's University tuition had me doing barrel rolls in bed and and I was only just drifting off when it started .What's worse, this morning it was accentuated by the banging of a very loud and deep drum. They would go for a 5 minute spurt, stop for a couple of minutes ( lulling you into a false sense of safety and allowing you to just about nod off) and then they would start up again. Bloody torture it was.
I wanted to go up onto the roof in my underwear and yell across the street at them " OI !....can you turn it down a bit ! I don't think your dead relative can hear the music but I sure as hell can !". Of course I realised how disrespectful this would be ( and contrary to popular belief I AM culturally sensitive ) so I stayed in bed and to their credit, the dingle-dongling did stop. .....at 6.50am, 10 minutes before my alarm went off ! ------------------------------------------------------
POST NOTE ; Yesterday the dingle dongling stopped altogether...just in time for the scaffolders to pick up the noise slack on the building site right next door ! BANG BANG BANG BANG BANG.
What with it being Friday the 1st and all, I thought it was as good a time as any to kick start the month with a family BBQ. I placed the SMS to Leakhana around Midday " BBQ / ribs / family " and when I got home my wife was busy in in the kitchen with her sister preparing a feast. Ribs were being marinated, potatoes were being par-broiled and prawns were being skewered. I settled in to a few games of snap with Vattey's younger brother over a Budweiser or two( Jeff, Vattey and Aliyah now in LA ) and then we lit the bbq. The rest of the gang arrived ; Phalla, Srey Nek, Srey Pek, Dany, Veasna and Phalla's new "nanny" and we were soon noshing on a feast. The remote control car whizzed around,games were played, movies were watched and my ice cream stash was wiped out. I am a huge fan of these nights as it is just great to be at home with my Khmer family and the next day I want out and bought Pick up Sticks for the kids. I am still looking for Jenga if anyone knows where I can find it in Phnom Penh ??
Phalla's new nanny
Watching the movies ( reminds me of a Xanadu get together ! )
