Ve vill fight zem on zee shores

The Mozzilator 5000 Turbo

Who was it that said small things amuse small minds ?

These little $14 Chinese made mosquito zapping units are fantastic ( though I doubt they would pass safety muster in Australia). There is something wickedly amusing upon hearing the CRACK of a little bastard getting fried alive. When you hear two almost simultaneously it is like winning lotto. If Jeff and I had been half motivated the other night as we demolished beers and the remains of a bottle of Grey Goose Vodka,we could even have made a drinking game out
of it ! Plus, when all lights go out for bed time, it sets off a cool purplish blue glow all over the tiles of the lower floor of our house. Very Andy Warhol.

Now I am thinking of getting a couple more and setting up a gauntlet along the corridor to rival the English Channel a la WW2.

ZIP ZAP CRACK

And here are some arty shots I took of my new toy up close. I really like them because they are the kind of photo you can look at forever and wonder " what the hell is it ?" but again...small things and all that.

GRACE;Cute as a button (photos)

And the apple of her daddy's eye...............

21sts,Mother-in-law massages,Car accidents and a huge explosion.

Friday Night ; With Grace safely over at her grandmother's and despite my back pain ( more on that in a minute), Leakhana and I headed out to Srey Touche's 21st birthday at a BKK1 beer garden. With a crowd of 50 or so people that consisted of heaps of stunning Khmer girls all dolled up and young western guys, we made for quite the crowd. There were many married couples in attendance, some familiar faces and all in all it was a great night. A lovely buffet, Anchor sputniks and bottles of Jack Daniels, Scotch Whiskey and Vodka one every table ensured everyone got well lubricated before rolling on to Riverhouse. Srey Touche looked like a Princess and was the belle of the ball.

Saturday ; I know this is going to sound a bit weird but my mother-in-law gives amazing massages. On Thursday I got my Twice-a-year back twinge and by Saturday I was a bit of a contorted mess.We had to go pick Grace up and this was not really something I was looking forward to doing given my pain. However, being the trooper I am, I bit the bullet and drove over there wincing all the way. Anyways…..I really just wanted to pick the baby up and do a runner back to The Compound. My wife had other ideas and wanted to visit so we trundled up the several flights of stairs and I collapsed in a sweaty, painful mess. As Leakhana,Grace,Yay and Mum clucked away…I sat in the chair and stayed as still as possible and I soon had to lie on the floor . As I made for the floor, my Mother-in-law did what she normally does and laid a large flat square pillow out for me to lie on. This time, however, she motioned for me to lie on it on my stomach and the next thing I know she produced a strange looking bottle of “slimming lotion” (god knows I need it!) and proceeded to slather it on my back. Within a minute I realised this lotion was actually super duper strength Dencorub-style athlete's lotion that started burning my lower back with never before experienced intensity. Mum then gave me one of the best massages I have had in a long time. She gently kneaded away at all the right spots and I could feel the pain ebb from my sore body. Half an hour later I was feeling like a new man and I could not thank Sokhan enough. Not sure how many other guys out there have had their mum-in-law give them a massage but damn……mine was great !

Slimming stuff.......

Saturday night; zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz


Sunday; We rang Phalla and told her to bring the baby (and whoever else) over for a visit and we were soon receiving a phone call to say she had made it to within 300m of our house before having an accident. I jumped in the jeep and headed out and soon found Phalla,Vichea, Mum,Veasna, Nek and Pek just around the corner....along with a bloodied freshy boy and some girl. Turns out Phalla had slowly attempted top cross the main street in her Camry when these two nongs came along at high speed and simply ploughed into the side of the car. No injury to anyone but the Camry was a bit of a mess. What ensued was altogether confusing and hilarious. Everybody got on their phones and soon enough a few relatives of the couple on the moto arrived. Lots of talking and pointing and walking back and forth to inspect damage etc.mum once again proved herself to be a pit bull in the face of adversity. Finally we all hopped in our car(s) and convoyed over to a smash repair shop near Tra's work in Toul Kork and eventually we were heading back to The Compound.When we got there I asked Leakhana to tell me what had transpired and it went like this ; The couple on the bike had originally said they were brother and sister. When their family members arrived, it transpires that the girl had borrowed the scooter from her Uncle to "go to the shop". By now the boy that was riding the scooter has mysteriously disappeared and further questioning reveals the girl was actually out cruising with her boyfriend. The Uncle was furious and agreed to pay all costs when he heard how the accident occurred ! Now THERE is one for the books. I guess there is one very repentant young khmer girl in Phnom Penh today .

I then decided it was food time so the girls went off to the market for kilos of king prawns whilst the kids played and Mum looked after the babies. We then spent the rest of the afternoon and evening doing the family thing with the kids making a collage out of our wedding photos and the women all...being women. The outstanding part of the afternoon came in the form of a record breaking bum-blurt from Vichea. Phalla and I were chatting away when she held the little man up and said "oh....no....Justin ! ". I looked over and she had baby brown all over her lap and Vichea's legs were dripping. I picked him up and ran for the bathroom and I noticed the peanut-butter (smooth, not crunchy) sludge was now exploding out of his nappies. By the time we both got into the shower I was covered in the little man's explosion. All we could do was laugh as we both showered and cleaned up. Turns out the poor little bugger had not done #2 for 4 days !! He looked quite chuffed with himself afterwards and fell into a deep sleep.Must have been quite a load off his mind ;-). Phalla was profusely thankful to me for handling it but a I said " Hey....he's my nephew ! What are family for?!". I later spoke to Tra and told him I thought Vichea could pooh for Cambodia at the next Olympics !


pps ; sorry about the change in usual font for this post. My PC is wiggin' out !

Lucia comes to visit

My friends Maduranga and Kristin have just arrived back after a lengthy stay in Bangkok, ostensibly to await the arrival of their daughter, Lucia. Kristin contracted Dengue Fever and so they had to go a little earlier than planned and in the end they spent about 6 weeks in a serviced apartment in Bangkok. Anyone who has been there will agree that's a bloody long time to be holed up.

I missed the visit as I was upstairs dealing with a nasty stomach virus but Jeff managed to capture this lovely photo of women and bubs. I have never seen a baby 3 weeks old with as much hair as Lucia ! It's good to have you back K and Lucia will not want for play friends !

Leakhana/Grace,Vattey/Aliyah,Kristin/Lucia

Amazing Grace

GRACE ; Congenital Torticollis PART 2

Further to this earlier post about Grace's condition, we have had our follow up check at Rattanak. I am very happy to ann0unce that the muscular lump is receding nicely and our lovely Japanese doctor was quite impressed with Grace's improvement. She has been tipping surgery but is now confident of a relatively quick and total recovery.

Needless to say Mum and Dad are very happy and relieved.

Now....what can we worry about next ?...........

Kick Off time

In a nice little reminder to you all of exactly where it is I am living, how many of you have armed incursions happening on your borders ?

From this source ;

Heavy fighting erupted Wednesday on the border near Preah Vihear temple, killing at least two Cambodian soldiers and wounding two others. Several Thai troops were also hurt in the clash, a Cambodian military commander said as a standoff over disputed border territory that has simmered since July turned violent.

An unnamed military officer at the Ministry of Defence has also confirmed that the two sides engaged in battle at Veal Antri, saying that a Thai helicopter had fired on the Cambodian lines, with the Cambodians responding with anti-aircraft weapons.The fighting lasted for more than two hours before Thai military commanders asked for negotiations, said Chum Chamrong, deputy commander of military police in Preah Vihear province.

Tensions have been building on the frontier since Thai troops reportedly crossed the border into Cambodia in July. Several rounds of crisis talks, the most recent occurring on Monday between Thai Foreign Minister Sompong Amornvivat and his Cambodian counterpart, Hor Namhong, and Prime Minister Hun Sen, have failed to find a solution.

Soldiers from both sides engaged in a brief firefight at Veal Antri on October 3, wounding three troops. Two Thai soldiers were badly wounded when they stepped on land mines two days later while patrolling near the Cambodian front lines.

Following Monday's negotiations, Hun Sen threatened to turn the border into a "battle zone" if Thai troops did not leave Cambodia. Cambodian commanders said Tuesday that Thailand withdrew its soldiers - a claim that was disputed by Bangkok.Loun An, deputy governor of Oddar Meanchey province, said Cambodian and Thai troops have shelled each other, and some 40 Thai troops have been surrounded by Cambodian soldiers.Ten Thai troops near Preah Vihear temple were captured during the clash, military officials said.

A khmer soldier watches over captured Thai soldiers.

In Phnom Penh, fears of a repeat of the 2003 anti-Thai riots forced the Thai embassy to send its non-essential staff home, while Thailand's foreign minister said he was prepared to evacuate Thai citizens, according to wire service reports.

Should be an interesting month..................

One SWEEEEET ride......

This is owned by a very prominent Khmer politician and businessman and I did not think his bodyguards were going to let me keep my phone but they just smiled.

2008 Rolls Royce Phantom, retailing at around US$300,000

However as my mate Chris pointed out..the back doors are very "last year" with the new coupe available in 2 door ;

Yowsers !

OUTRAGEOUS KHMER MYTH # 2

Jeff, can I have the midget and the DVD collection ?

Myth;
Apparently.......you can't have 3 people in a photo or else you are condemning the centre person to death. If a situation occurs and you must have 3 people in a photo the oldest person must stand in the middle as they are closer to death anyway.

Source;
This came from one of my readers, Katzy.

My thoughts ? ;
Could be something to this one. We will have to wait and see what happens to Compound buddy Jeff. He is definitely the oldest in this photo by a long shot.

One hot,long Saturday

It has been bloody hot in the Penh for over a week now. The problem has been exacerbated by the complete absence of any breeze and it hasn't been pleasant. After a few beers at TTAS on Friday night where 8 of us huddled under the bar as a massive rain storm passed over, Leakhana and I headed for Pho Olympic for Saturday breakfast. We then headed over to give Phalla Aunty Sarah's care package ( Sarah - Phalla was very humbled and thinks you are the most generous person she knows ! ) and a quick visit turned into a 5 hour lazy day of baby time and a glorious bbq duck and Tsing tao beer lunch. The girls clipped nails, injected saline into noses,applied cold presses to foreheads, changed nappies, moisturised and generally clucked and preened over the kids all day.We talked about the limits Phnom Penh imposes on you as a young family. There isn't a lot to do and the heat makes things worse. Of course if we owned a massive French colonial villa with a pool and a garden things would be different.....but we don't. I also marvelled at Vichea's growth. The kid was a runt when he was born and now I swear he is a little brute of a lad with muscle mass ! He has a Johhny Weismuller style chest and biceps ...

Strongman Vichea (5.5kg ) and Amazing Grace ( 4.5kg)

BBQ Duck and Tsing Tao Beer. Mmmmmmm.

Whilst Leakhana and I showered and changed in preparation for going out, Tra took the rest of the family AND little Grace out for a soup dinner. Mum sheepishly asked if she could take and look after Grace even though we were not going and when I said yes, she was over the moon. Tra had a Toyota Previa ( bit like a mini Tarago ) on loan and it was nice having a small break . I felt 100% comfortable giving our baby to the family to take out and Leakhana and I headed to Cadillac for a cocktail and then headed to Riverhouse Lounge where we met up with Vattey,Tra and Phalla . By this time Grace was safely back at home with Srey Neung

Cold packs,paracetamol ( for the after-vaccination flu ! ) and lots of fussing !

Massage anyone ?

Saw this pearler that had only just been cemented into the ground on Saturday. I couldn't not take a photo and as I snapped away with the Nokia and a massive smile on my face, the owner came out and I could see her looking up at the sign in deep thought.........

Spitting....and not spitting.....the dummy.

About an hour ago I got a distress call from my wife that,in essence, went like this ;

" Sweetheart, can you please sent me the landlord's phone number because I want to rip the builders next door some new arseholes. Rocks are falling on the roof and against the window AND I AM SICK OF THEM "

Ok so there is a little mummy and baby sleep deprivation adding into the mix here but I thought I better go home with some presents that Aunty Sarah and Tess Schwartz sent from Australia to soothe her down. When I get home it turns out Leakhana has gone up onto the roof, torn open the green construction fencing and demanded to talk to the manager. She says she has told him in no uncertain terms if they did not show our house some respect she would take it up with the Sangkat and shut the job down !!

God I love her. I told her I was stoked to see her get angry because it is always me that is going troppo about the inconsideration of our fellow residents and I always feel like the crazy ranting white guy. Finally she showed me that khmers too have a limit and it made me feel human ! Those of you have met my wife will attest she is as gentle as a mouse so can you imagine my surprise ! ;-)

Then we sat down and opened some beautiful care packages and she was over the moon at the eye drops, the clothes ( beauty Sarah and Tess ! ) , the Alpha Keri oil and then....the new dummy came out ! Well......you have never seen something sterilised so quickly and it was soon in Grace's mouth and she took to it like a duck to water. You could see leakhana relax almost instantaneously and Grace was last seen dropping off to sleep whereas she had been awake since 7a.m. So far we have resisted the usage of a "pacifier" but to hell with it..Sarah assures us hat used in the right manner, they are a godsend and I tend to agree.

Now....i just need to find a man-sized one.

40th Birthday dinner

Location ; Green Pepper restaurant ( owned by Paul and Aelene )
Date ; 7.10.08
Highlights ; Great friends, all the kids,South African red,single malt,Paul's sheesha pipe !
Result ; Hangover from hell.

Pail.Ang.Vattey.Aliyah

Srey Neung

The Pepperettes

Mr and Mrs PP

Leakhana looking HOT

Emily

Aliyah

The Phnom Pen turns 40

At 20 I was trading futures for Merrill Lynch, partying like a madman and ..well..behaving like a 20 year old

At 30 I was working in the internet start-up game,partying like a madman and...well..behaving like a 20 year old.

At 35 I was working on an Oyster farm,hardly partying at all and behaving like a 50 year old.

Then at 38 I moved to Cambodia.

They say life begins at 40.This year I got married to my beautiful wife and had my beautiful daughter. We bought blocks of land in Kep and work is cementing nicely. I guess it's true ! I am happier than I have ever been and look forward to a few cold beers tonight. Still misbehaving on occasion but hey, I ain't dead yet !

Happy Birthday me.

The $5000 house

Check this little Kep beauty out. The owner built it himself using mostly jack fruit trees and it cost all of $5000. I love the fact this guy has built something so groovy and did not stick to the usual house-on-stilts khmer model. He was very proud and I spent an hour with him talking about his methods. He has told me he can do one for me for the same price ! The only part I don't like are the stairs. They look unreal but are highly impractical with a child. What you cannot actually see from the photos are the stunning ocean views the family has from the upper deck ! This guy scored big time because his plot is right at the entrance to Kep Lodge so he has benefited from the 4m hard packed road being put in and also has electricity to his front door. I bet he didn't spend a cent ! With about a hectare of heavily fruited land under his belt and a $5k outlay on the house, he could now sell it to an expat for about $70k++ I reckon ! Not bad.






In comparison, below is a Kep Lodge Bungalow that can be built for US$6,000. 5x5m bedroom with large terracotta tiles,internal bathroom with hot water, beautifully finished with proper timber doors and frames but no kitchen. kitchen ? A gas tank and a burner fixes that !! What you cannot see from this photo is that the external walls on left and right side have all these wonderful small river pebbles set into them and it looks great. Imagine two of these with a 5x5m common area between them and an extended 3m wide verandah running along the front with a separate outdoor shower and dunny block out the back in terrazzo concrete and that's what I am heavily leaning towards. Two sets of bunks in one bungalow = 4 people and then a queen in the other = 1 couple. Add a pool in the front and plant it out with fruit trees. heaven.

"Banana" Bungalow @ Kep Lodge

P'Chum Ben 2008

Well another PB has come and gone and this is how it panned out for us ;

Sarah was here for the first few days as per my last blog post and once she left, we packed up the car and headed south to Kep. I now have a much greater appreciation for what it requires to get out of town with a child in tow. All those extra accessories that must be packed and things that cannot be forgotten.Nappies,bum wipes,blankies,onesies,bottles,formula etc etc I think about my brother Adam and all the times he has had to pack up the family of 5 and head up to Shrdlu and I just shudder. Anyways, we kept all the clutter to a minimum and got away with relative ease. Absolutely no traffic on the roads and the jeep was running fine having just had a new fan belt fitted and a service. Two and half hours later we were in Kampot having lunch at the Rusty Keyhole. You should have seen the RK girls go for Grace. Sokhum ( Christian's wife ) is so clucky it is ridiculous and she took charge of Grace and kept her close while Leakhana and I ate. I really hope her and Christian have a kid because she would make such a fantastic mother.

Kep Lodge

After lunch we cruised down to Kep Lodge and checked into Papaya bungalow which Dan very kindly gave us a good deal on. It has two beds but unfortunately the bathtub was out of commission and had a resident ant nest so it was a bit of a crap shoot in the bathroom which became even more of a crap shoot when I got stomach bug after my first dinner in Kep. You get the picture.

Grace's first swim

Anyhow the pool is fully finished at Kep Lodge and it is beautiful. Just the right depth with a lovely garden around it and a killer view of the ocean. There is even a little kiddy pool attached and I took Grace for her first swim which she loved. No hysterics or crying, just that
lovely " eeeiuwwwww what's this then ?" expression. Leakhana made like an Irrawaddy dolphin as usual and the only real shortfall was the KL staff's poolside service which was non-existent. Ringing the service bell failed to raise a result and after having breakfast one morning, we noticed our plates were still there several hours later. Still, with Dan in Bangkok, I guess it was holiday time for them !

Leakhana,Cheang ( Dan's wife),Grace and that cheeky little kiss-planting Alex.

Whilst the road issue at Kep Lodge has been sorted out,Dan now has a new battle on his
hands .Some Vietnamese people have cleared a hectare right in front of the pool and restaurant and will build whopping big house which will no doubt impact on the view and knowing how things get done here, there will be a good 6 month of noise and dust so I think it will be a very trying time for Dan and I feel for him. What was also interesting was I think the Vietnamese lady doing the building was actually sitting in the KL restaurant with her two heavily armed bodyguards watching the work go on !! She was yabbering away in Viet on the phone and keeping a close eye on proceedings across the paddock.

We luckily had the opportunity had a talk to Dan and Cheang's builder who did all their ( and Vanna Bunglows) beautiful stone and thatched roof bungalows and he assures me a smaller one can be built for around $7000 so I am hoping when it comes time for us to build that two of them side by side with some living space and a kitchen in the middle won't come to much more than $20k !! The pool will cost that much again but hey, $50k for a super sweet weekender with a pool only 2kms from the best coastline in Cambodia isn't that bad ! I also met a very interesting Dutch guy called Hans who works for an international de-mining company. Hans has worked in Cambodia,Afghanistan and is now based in Lebanon but he has a Khmer wife and will also build in Kep, using the same builder. We chatted for an hour about all things de-mining and building and I tild him I will keep an eye on the builder for him as Hans is off back to Lebanon while his house gets built.

Grace and I at the Star Inn, Kep sea front.

We went out to check the on our land and it was a particularly hard visit as only two months ago, Juntha's ( our "Man in Kep") 2 year old daughter walked off and fell into a small pond and drowned. I felt a bit awkward arriving with Grace but I paid my respects to Juntha and his wife and they were very happy to see our baby. The mango trees we planted on the smaller block got ravaged by cows which is a real shame as I was hoping to see some nice little trees growing and all that was left were stumps ! I took a walk over to the watermelon farm and found the bastard ( I call him a bastard because he is a greedy little RFW) who sold us the land had his cows tethered to our block and they were busy eating everything in sight. Luckily, I was packing my 40th birthday present , a leatherman WAVE multi-tool and with a simple flick, out came the blade, the tethers were cut and the cows were sent galloping off into the rice fields. The look on the guys face as I walked back to the car was priceless. I simply smiled and waved.

The offending cow...last seen heading off into the rice paddies

So with no traffic,no crowds and perfect weather, the holiday was fantastic and it was really nice to get out of Phnom Penh on our first family trip. Grace covered off a few firsts; Her first road trip ( she handled the trip with ease ), her first swim in a pool, her first look at the ocean, her first stay at Kep Lodge AND......importantly.........her first romantic moment when Dan's 11 month old son Alex came straight over to Grace and planted a kiss on her cheek !

I must have words with his father.

Aunty Sarah comes to visit

Sarah and Grace on their first night together. Equally besotted !

My sister Sarah has just been to visit for a week and her sole desire was to spend as much time as possible with her new niece Grace. I think she overachieved in that department !

After taking Srey Nek and Srey Pek out to the airport to pick her up ( at Sarah's insistence ), we headed back to the apartment where Sarah and Grace came together like magnets and the attraction was mutual and automatic. Poor old Sarah toted 30kg of baby presents over to Cambodia from the family and we were soon enjoying a bottle of wine or two and a present opening session to rival 5 Christmases arriving at once. I even go to open some lovely ...ahem .......40th.........birthday presents for myself. The family really spoiled little Grace and she now has some beautiful clothes,toys and knick knacks to keep her happy. BIG THANKS TO ALL THE FAMILY !!

Christmas comes early

The next five days went all to quickly and were a whirlwind of shopping ( clothes for Sarah, more things for Grace ! ),dinners,lunches and family parties, including an early ....ahem.....40th......birthday party for me which saw friends arriving on a wet night for a bbq.

Family and friends at my 40th

Whilst the whole family headed out to the Wat for P'chum Ben,Sarah and I bundled Grace up ,grabbed a tuk tuk and headed to the FCC for lunch and then Leakhana called and said the family wanted to party on back at our house. They arrived with bags of freshly cooked food and with wine,vodka,babies (little Vichea and Grace sleeping side by side) and Jenga aplenty, a great night was had by all - especially by Sarah who is now well and truely indentured in my Khmer family.Her Khmer nieces barely leave her alone and she is great with them.

Bathtime for Grace

Bathtime for Vichea
"Yo..gimme some more soap damnit"

Unfortunately all good things must come to an end and soon enough Sarah had to head home to her own family. Her visit was,as always, a shining light in our life. She always comes with a love of Cambodia and each visit brings her closer and closer to my family here. Sarah was able to give us some great tips on bringing up a tot and I know Leakhana greatly enjoyed having her "big sister" over to visit.

The trip out to Ponchentong airport with Sam the Driver was a sad one. I know we will see Sarah regularly but when you are living so far away from family, it makes it very hard when they go and I also realised that Grace is going to be growing so quickly and my family are going to miss it which was a bit painful as well.

WE LOVE YOU AUNTY SARAH !