Thursday, January 29, 2009

Banned in China

Just as I was feeling really chuffed with my blog's site statistics ( which are heading north rapidly every month ) I have discovered my site has been banned in the largest market of them all - China. Some regular readers emailed me to tell me they now cannot access the site and I am stuffed as to why the Chinese would censor me ?

I do not make any political comments about China.

I do not make any political comments about the CPP here in Cambodia.

I never post nudity.

I can only guess it might be because of the odd swear word ?

Well.....All I can say is 恭喜发财 to you too you commie mother fuckers.


This is what two of my Chinese readers think of not being able to load www.thephhompen.com

Never mind, I may not be as powerful as this guy YET but I am certainly pulling in visitors in a ever increasing number. China ? PFFFFFFFFFFFFt.

Tuesday, January 27, 2009

Australia Day at The Ambassador's residence

With a slightly jaded hue still hanging over me from yesterday's frivolity, it was all I could do to muster the strength to attend the residence of the Australian Ambassador for a two hour soiree last night. Leakhana and I got all dolled up ( cocktail dress for her / suit and tie for me ) and taxied it to Wat Phnom ( via Mum's place to drop little Grace off ) and the stream of people heading in was impressive. The garden of Margaret's STUNNING French colonial mansion was lit up with fairly lights and tea candles and staff dispensed Australian reds /whites and beers. After some formal words from the Deputy PM of Cambodia and the Ambassador, it was time to toast Australia Day with some bubbly and then head over to the feeding troughs for some of the best roast lamb and beef I have had. As the red flowed, the hangover subsided and after bidding Her Excellency adieu Leakhana and I were soon winging it over to Sharkey Bar for a nightcap. We looked quited the sight sitting up there at the bar in all our livery and whilst the wife hooked up with Vatey and headed to River House lounge for a bit of a bop, I headed home for the comfort of bed.

Monday, January 26, 2009

Aussie Aussie Aussie OI OI OI !!

Lamb on the Spit

Fuck I hate that war cry. Whoever came up with it should be shot.

Anyhoooooooooooooow..........................

Yesterday whilst the Chinese khmer welcomed on the New Year by burning wads of counterfeit $100 notes, many of Phnom Penh's Australians headed to Talking to A Stranger for the Australia Day party. Organised by the Australian Business Association of Cambodia ( of which I am Treasurer ), the day was a right craic.

The lamb spit sizzled, the kids gallivanted around, the AC/DC blared from the speakers and the beer flowed.And we all got shiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiitfaced.

My little kangaroo and her Uncle Veasna

A proud little digger (ess). Cute !

100% Bogan

ABAC Board Members ( L to R );
David Carter (CEO, Infinity Insurance)
Paul Adair (Finance Manager,DFDL Law)
Stephen Higgins (CEO, ANZ Royal Bank)


And in the true spirit of Australia, I bring you this great little story.Enjoy.


Wednesday, January 21, 2009

Dining with the Bong Thoms

Pre-dinner poolside drinks

Another week, another dizzy round of engagements. Last night I attended a very swish function held by ANZ at Raffles Hotel. Their Global CEO, Michael Smith was in town providing "unique insights" into the global financial crisis and what it means for Asia. After an agonisingly slow chauffeur driven ride down Norodom in Infinity CEO David Carter's Lexus, we arrived at Raffles and the cars in the driveway should have been some indication as to what the night was going to be like. First thing we saw was this bad boy . We had a quick beer in the Elephant Bar and then went poolside for pre-dinner drinks. The pool looked amazing with rows of floating candles and it was a veritable who is who of Cambodian Business leaders. Anyone who was anyone was there ( including myself of course) and after a quick beverage or two we were ushered into the dining room. Some incredibly stunning apsara dancers provided a great show whilst we had our entrées and it was then on to the serious business.

Michael Smith ( Global CEO / ANZ ), Stephen Higgins ( CEO / ANZ Cambodia ), H.E Margaret Adamson ( Australian Ambassador to Cambodia )...and some random spunk in the background !

You don't schmooze...you lose.

Apsara Dancers

Ohkna Kith Meng gave a quick introduction . There was not talk about ANZ Royal ( his Royal Group's JG with ANZ ) but rather he simply lauded Mr Smith's almighty power. It is all about power with the Ohkna's ( an Ohkna is an honorary title bestowed to a Cambodian gent when he has "made the big time") and god knows there were plenty of them in the room. Dinner was fantastic and I was rather surprised when Ohkna Meng arrived at our table ( cue ; everybody stand up and mind your manners ) and stood right next to me to chat and encourage us to scull our red wine. Whilst we drank from normal mortal glasses, the Ohkna's and anyone on their tables all drank from these ridiculously over sized glass wine goblets in a garish "look at me ,look at me" display of ...ahem....social standing.

Card playing,pistol toting,Lexus driving monkies

After dinner a few of I headed out to the Raffles street front to wait in a tuk tuk for some others and the sight of 5000 monkey suited bodyguards all toting exposed pistols shoved into their belts was amusing. Many were out on the street in groups of 6-8 playing cards for money and when I started snapping some pictures, they were none too happy. They shielded their faces and ducked for cover. Every so often a walkie talkie would squawk and one would take off and jump into a Lexus to go and pick up his master. When I headed into the main entrance in the tuk tuk to pick up the others, some of the bodyguards gave Pros ( our driver and a good mate ) some filthy " what the fuck are you doing in here" looks and words and told him to move on. I told them in perfect Khmer to basically shut the fuck up viz " I am waiting for my friends and I have just had dinner with your boss ". They were then all smiles.

Whilst the others headed over to Talking To a Stranger for an Obama Inauguration party, I headed home to my two girls and was soon fast asleep...........

Tuesday, January 20, 2009

Rent ( almost ) rage.


Last night was rental night. Up until now we have had no problems. In fact, we have only paid rent 3 times thus far at The Compound, so there has been no opportunity for any discrepancies and at any rate, I keep ( and have always kept ) a meticulous journal of rent and utility payments for all our Phnom Penh apartments and landlords to avoid any grey areas. So last night Panha ( our landlord ) comes over and I pay him the $800 for the last two months. I point out a few things that need fixing which he notes and says he will get onto and as I am about to head off to the fridge for a tinny, I hear the words " You owe me $400". What ensued over the next few hours was hilarious,frustrating, stressful and in the end, educational.

Without boring you with the nitty gritty ( Jeff..I'll tell you when you get back over a few Zoroks), on the last payment cycle, we asked Panha if Leakhana and I could just pay 2 months in advance rather than the three we had been paying previously. He very kindly agreed however Vattey and Jeff still paid their 3 month advance ( we all basically pay together as it is a single lease ) and therein lied the confusion for Panha because it effectively put the two compound families on different pay months. He just could not get his head around the fact that we (Leakhana and I) were now paying bi-monthly and that actually, everything was on track. He had his journal, I had my journal. We sat down in Jeff's apartment and Panha wrote down the payment cycles and how much had been paid and by whom and to whom and I did the same. Our calculations and details were identical and my journal even showed where Panha had signed off on our rent
payments !. I tried to simplify to Panha , Vatey and Leakhana as much as possible but the more we talked about it the more they got confused. Eventually,babies started crying and we decided to reconvene when everyone had had a chance to research further.

So Leakhana, Vatey and I go back to our apartment and sit down ( by now I am guzzling Zorok in an effort to stay "cool"). I get out a big piece of paper and clearly explain to both the wives exactly what has gone on each payment cycle and the ask them slowly and calmly if they understand and if they don't to please ask me / tell me where they are disconnecting - and remember, the wives are trying to read everything ( numbers, dates etc ) in English which is not their first language so I am very patient with them and also proud they are persisting. Eventually I can see the lights going on and then they say " ok...we get it..lets ring Panha". I ask the wives if they are sure they do not want to wait until tomorrow and they say " nope....good to go". Panha is called and arrives soon enough and within a minute he says " I am very sorry...I now understand completely where I was getting confused, you do not owe me any money etc". PHEW !! Hands are shook with big smiles and Panha heads off.

Now I write about this trivial daily incident for several reasons. Firstly, I have to say that our landlord continues to prove that he is a very solid and likeable guy. We have had nothing but fair dealings with him and Panha always comes to the party if things need fixing or if we have small quirky barang requests. Signing up with a landlord in Phnom Penh is like playing the lottery and thus far, we are winning. Secondly, I am very proud of myself for not losing my temper or walking out even when it seemed I could not explain the simplest of situations and was staring down the barrel of a $400 robbery. As the negotiations unfolded, I remained very conscious of what I have learned in Cambodia time and time again ( but have not always applied) and that is, if you lose your temper- it will not get you anywhere . Remaining level headed was made easier by the fact that a) I knew Panha was a good guy and would eventually see the light b) I KNEW 100% I WAS RIGHT ! and c) A 6 pack of Zorok .

Even though in true Khmer style it took a couple of sit-downs and many waving hands and everyone to have a say.....eventually all was well and no-one was left with mud on their face. Big pats on the backs to the wives too. They persisted in the middle of confusion and Leakhana was sick with a very sore squeaky throat and still went to bat.

Monday, January 19, 2009

Darren and Lucia's housewarming

We went to a hilarious house warming on Saturday night that reminded me of the Peter Sellers movie "The Party". One of my colleagues at work bought a small apartment (US$24k) and has renovated it(US$8K) and surprise surprise, it is in the some building as my Khmer family's apartment. We dropped Grace off and headed upstairs and the place was already in full swing. Just about all the Khmer support staff were there and Darren had even organised some Anchor Beer girls ( in full uniform ) to attend to the beer barrel. Food was being pumped out from the BBQ at the front and the kitchen at the back and as the night wore on, things got highly amusing.

Leakhana went out to check on Grace at one stage and soon thereafter,I felt a tap on my shoulder and there were my nieces Srey Nek and Srey Pek in matching party dresses and my mother-in-law in her pyjamas and a big smile. They had come to have a laugh with us all. Mum then decided we needed more food an went down to the streetside BBQs to get some hot dogs which she then promptly ate with a bunch of people whilst plomped down on the floor of the small apartment ( 4m wide by 20m long ) . As the music raged, people came and went and when I decided it was time to crack the 1litre bottle of Finlandia vodka, do you think we could find it ? Some time a later the chap who did all the work appeared sheepishly with not only MY vodka but also a bottle of tequila he had removed to places unknown. Shifty little bastard.

I got talking to a Khmer chap who turned out to be Darren's ( rather drunk) neighbour and soon enough I was also playing with his young son who was a delightful little boy afflicted with mild autism. I taught him how to do the upside down finger spectacles and his smile was just glorious. Next thing I know I am dragged into the neighbour's apartment for show (guns and photos) and tell ( "I am policemen"). I was a little nervous at this stage as drunken Khmer policemen and guns don't always mix and as soon as I could I extricated myself and got back to the relative safety of "The Party" which was by now looking like a dishevelled mess. Wild dancing in the living room, a kitchen that looked like a bomb had gone of and a lot of very trashed people.

Around 11pm we said our goodbyes and I am sure the next day there were sore very sore heads in the building !

GRACE; Some great pictures

3 generations. Mum ( in the back with facial mud mask), grandmother
and Grace !


Leakhana and Grace

My little princess !


Super Yay ( Grace's Great Grandmother ) supervises bath time.

Friday, January 16, 2009

Dirt cheap beef and moderated music

As I have cruised around our neighbourhood running errands I have continually gone past this very nice looking beer garden in a side street. Very large with lots of trees and tables etc and most importantly - no sign of any karaoke stage, I have been wanting to give it a go. So last night Jeff,Vatey,Leakhana,Aliyah, Grace and I headed over to have dinner ( after Jeff and I conducted another Zorok Trial of course ! ).

We were shown to an outside table and Grace was almost immediately scooped up and swept away by an adoring waitress. A huge cow was on the spit so we ordered a plate of beef, some ribs,the usual plate loads of raw vegetables and a jug of beer to accompany the BYO French wine we arrived with ( they had no bottle opener so I had to shoot back to the Compound on a moto to get ours ! ). The food was excellent and there was one dish that I loved. It was basically strips of raw beef heavily soaked in lime juice and doused in raw chilli and it made the mouth absolutely HUM . It was so hot even the Khmer wives were OOOHING and AHHHHING.

We ended up re-ordering another plate of beef and ended up having two jugs of beer and when the bill came I was expecting it to be around the $40 mark. It was $25. I could not believe it. Add on the two bottles of $5 French wine and four adults absolutely gorged themselves,imbibed decent wine and beer and got babysitting thrown in for US$8.75 each !! We gave them a healthy tip and I also tipped the young girl who looked after Grace $3 ( probably the same as what she would have got paid for her 8 hour shift ) and I will definitely be taking the family there again .

Thursday, January 15, 2009

There's a new beer in town


Tongues are wagging, taste buds are tingling and local breweries are panicking. There is a new beer in town, it's comes from Vietnam, it's called Zorok,it tastes great and...most importantly for local lager louts..IT IS CHEAP AS HELL. Jeff ( our local beer truffle pig ) was the first to sniff out this amber gold and now every beer bellied guzzler in Phnom Penh is running around snaffling up cartons as quick as they can.

The price ( for all you suckers paying $5+ a beer elsewhere in the world )...US$7 for a box of 24 . That is 29 cents a can. Yeah Baby.

The only thing I can fault is the can design which is horrid.

Contrary to one local beer executive's pathetic attempt to discredit it " get ready for the chemical hangover", Zorok rocks and other beers will see their market share fall even further than it already has if they keep shipping this stuff over.

Monday, January 12, 2009

Dang it's cold


I don't remember it being this cold last year in January. Right now we are sleeping under blankets with the fan on low ( just to keep the air in the bedroom moving ) and last night I got the bloody flu ! On the way to work at 7a.m on the scooter, I almost need a puffer jacket and a beanie and a hot coffee is the first thing I am going for when i arrive. Yesterday whilst the wife went and drank beer with her sister and the mother's group, I curled up on the couch with my Jetstar travel blanket and watched Sex in the City and Monk dvds.

Friday, January 9, 2009

The Sauna Wrap 5000

Ssssssweat it out sister

Both Leakhana and her sister Phalla are in a bit of a flap about their post-pregnancy figures. Phalla more so than Leakhana. I have tried to explain that walking the kids around the park in the stroller and doing some exercises at home will help and that some women's bodies can take a year to repair. Phalla went out and bought herself this crazy "sauna" that is basically a big bag you sit in while some little machine blows seam into it and yesterday Leakhana came home with tis gadget and a set of scales.

I just hope it doesn't short circuit and fricassee my wife ! At least it will come in handy the next time my back has a spasm attack ......

The Phnom Pen dines with the Ambassador


One of the perks of being the Treasurer of The Australian Business Association of Cambodia
(ABAC) is that you get invited to some nice soirées. So it was with great pleasure I accepted the kind invitation of the Australian Ambassador, Margaret Adamson, to dine at the Ambassador's residence last night. After donning one of my finest suits, I arrived at the allotted hour of 7p.m and after the security guards swept over and under the Jeep with a long handled mirror, I was shown to my car spot.

I joined the other members of ABAC in what was I guess the "drinkies /ante" room for some pre-dinner drinks which were all served in very nice crystal glasses. We chatted about all manner of things and the Ambassador proved to be a very nice, engaging lady. I know she must do a lot of these things, some very formal, some not so formal. We fell into the "smart-casual" category so the mood was very relaxed indeed. I knew everyone there and had helped the Ambassador pick her winning horse at the ABAC Melbourne Cup function in November so it was a very nice evening.

The residence is absolutely stunning and is located just near Wat Phnom. It is a lovely old French Villa with extensive grounds and a pool etc but it has just been redecorated and whoever did it was bang on. I would not change a thing. Very tasteful art ( on hire from Australia), lovely sofas and some beautiful rosewood or mahogany antiques throughout. After drinks we moved through to the formal dining room and were sat down by the impeccable staff at our prearranged places. I was sat next to Angela ( a great friend ) and the Ambassador's husband, a Polish chap who proved to be quiet the conversationalist. As the courses rolled out and we made our way through the line-up off fine silverware, the conversation shifted from marauding monkeys to the state of the economy to how to fight "Cambodian belly"

A first rate night and a very nice opportunity to have a nice meal with some interesting people.

Monday, January 5, 2009

Lazy Saturday in Takmeo

Grace and Aunty Phalla

Sometimes it's a bit hard to find something relaxing to do in Phnom Penh that doesn't involve having to spend alot of money to sit pool side somewhere or fight hordes of traffic or people. I had a great 1/2 day in Takmeo on Saturday and I can highly recommend it for a mini-escape, especially if you have kids.

Grace enjoys a cold tinny

First of all we sat in the shade under the huge trees at the northern end of the river front. There are stacks of little tables with deck chairs where you can order up some food and something to drink. The breeze was refreshing to say the least. I was perfectly comfortable but my Khmer relatives wanted jumpers ! There is stacks of space with very few people and the long strip of garden offers ample lawn space for tot playing. I could have sat there for a few hours but hunger got the better of us so we moved south.
Lunch on the Tonle Sap river front

After checking out the big RomdayChang or similarly named restaurant ( full of RCAF uniforms swilling whiskey ) we decided to head back to the MAX restaurant. We got a lovely table on the terrace overlooking the river and there was only one other table of people there. They are extending the deck and there some guys banging away with hammers but I asked the owner if they could stop for an hour while we ate and she obliged in a second ! . We then ordered up deer lok lak and wild boar soup which I am pretty sure by khmer bro-in-law told me was actually illegal to eat ? At any rate, the deer lok lak was delicious. We actually had two servings of each and several beers each and the bill was $36.

Then it was back to the river front to walk Grace in the stroller and then home for a nap.

A great way to spend a Sunday and something I will definitely do again on a regular basis. You could quite easily skip the restaurant an just eat under the tree for a few bucks.

zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

Once back in Phnom Penh Leakhana talked me into going to Psar Kandal with her for a facial and I was soon fast asleep on a bench complete with face mask and bazillions of women around me.

Friday, January 2, 2009

GRACE; Some fashion shots





New Year's Eve 2008

Hot on the heels of a great Xmas came a fantastic NYE. Having suffered what I thought might have been dysentery for 4 days ( bed-ridden and 400 trips to the bathroom to thread the eye of a needle ain't no fun I can tell you) I was fairly nonplussed about the whole idea of going out. Of course, my wife had other ideas and whilst she and Phalla decked themselves out, I dragged myself off the couch and got showered and changed. With Mum looking after Grace,we were soon tuk-tuking it to Bar 33 ( where Leakhena's other sister Lin works ) through horrendous traffic and rain and before long we were enjoying several pitchers of beer at happy hour prices. Lin joined us and we had a good old laugh before Leakhana,Phalla and I left for River House with the promise of meeting Lin later.

On arrival at River House we found it absolutely packed and already the dance floor was heaving. We found a spot in the corner and watched proceedings and soon enough the dance floor was cleared and it was competition / give-away time by the sponsors, Heineken. The MC called out for a few female volunteers and as Leakhana had already downed a few beers and one tequila shot, she was in fine form and was soon making her way to the dance floor with two western backpackers. The challenge ?? A good old fashioned dance off. ON came the music and the girls started going crazy. Leakhana was busting some serious moves and she took out second place. Before too long she was heading back to the bar with her two new found friends, some Melbourne girls and as they were leaving the next day they kindly gave Leakhena the huge first prize basket. Half a case of Heinekin and some Heinekin glasses were now ours !! Sweet.

After River House we took the girls over to Le Mansion for some more party action. Le Mansion is a huge and glorious French Colonial Mansion that the FCC will renovate but right now it is all peeling mustard coloured paint and arched windows. As a party venue it rally cannot be beat and the joint was pumping. Lin met us there and as she does not get out much I swept her onto the dance floor and we had a ball. It was just me, my wife and her two sisters and the night was fantastic. After tripping the light fantastic for a couple of ours we decided to hit a restaurant for some 2am noodles. Happy 2009 !