John and Aejke get hitched

The Alter on Treasure Island Beach

John and Aejke got “married” (well…blessed in Buddha’s eyes at least) last weekend and what a fine affair it was. Funnily enough, a few days earlier I had watched a DVD called “Rachel Getting Married” and the wedding that was the centrepiece of the movie was a rambling, colourful affair and I had high hopes that John’s would be similar. I was unsure whether we would attend due to my infected leg but as it had come good to about an 80% rating and as I really did not want to miss this occasion, we shipped mum in to look after Grace and awoke early Saturday to board a 7a.m private mini-bus. With Derek, Wendy, Dan, Davuth, Angela, Paul, two of their friends and an esky full of beer, it promised to be quite a road trip. Whilst Leakhana and I had gone to bed early the night before, everyone else had been out to all hours and so it was not long before the first beer was cracked. Actually….it was 8a.m….and, no, mother, it was not me!We were soon motoring down the death highway to Sihanoukeville and with the beer flowing and constant calls of “OH MY GOD WE ARE GOING TO DIE!!” as all manner of vehicles and livestock meandered across the road, it was a rather amusing trip. With smokers and weak bladdered amongst us, some 400 roadside stops were made and we finally motored into Sihanoukeville around 1pm. After dumping all our stuff off at the SeaBreeze Hotel we headed for Hawaii Beach, a swim and a lazy seafood lunch. It was great to be in the ocean again and I figured it had been about a year or so since we had tasted salty water. After lunch it was back to the hotel for a 1.5 hour power nap and then time to hit the party.

Here comes the bride.........

Beach Apsaras

Beach Back Flip

The ceremony and party were held at Treasure Island restaurant which was on a very small and lovely beach in a small cove. Start time was 5pm and we got to have a few beers and say hi to all the Phnom Penh expats and SHV locals prior to the bride arriving by boat right on Sunset. Some 150 people stood on the beach waving and hooting as the bridal party landed and John had to wade out to carry his lovely bride ashore which was very romantic. As the sunset, some of John’s orphans did some Apsara dancing and then a huge group of them sung a lovely little song. It was then time for some blessings from the monks and before you could say “Hey Johnny….you are married”…..he was! They are doing a more formal / legal wedding in Holland in June but as far as we were all concerned, he was a goner.

Blessed !

John and his best men.

Party time.

Lawsey, Tess and Marie

It was then up onto the sanded area behind the beach for dinner at the set tables and much dancing as Dan and Paul spun their best tunes. The Khmer kids were loving it and everyone eventually got into the groove big time. Conga lines went around and around, couples danced cheek to cheek and the fairy lights twinkled away creating a great ambiance. The wine flowed and the conversation rambled on and come midnight it was well and truly time for everyone to go home. The steps back up the car park proved a real challenge in our newly inebriated state and we were soon all safely in the bus and on the way back to the hotel.

This is ACTUAL VISION photo of the sairs at 12am ;-)

The next day bought sunshine and mild hangovers and whilst the rest of our group went and swam at Otres Beach, Leakhana and I opted for maximum sleep time. After a hearty 8a.m breakfast I arrived back in the room to find my poor wife driving the white porcelain bus and after helping her back to bed, she was out for the next 4 hours. Once the pothers arrived back at the hotel we loaded up the bus and hit the town centre for supplies (more beer and ice, water, Orios,chips,gelato…the usual hangover food ) and it was then Phnom Penh bound .

A bloody fantastic wedding and best wishes to the newly-weds for a long and happy life together.

PS; Don't forget your security !

I CAN SEE !

When I was younger one of my family nicknames (apart from my brother’s favourite “hey…Fartsack!”) was Hawkeye. This was due to my abnormally sharp eyesight. If a needle got dropped in haystack. I would find it within a nano second. If one of my mum’s dinner guests dropped a diamond earring under the dinner table, I would be summonsed from my room and the diamond would be back on that ear lobe in a jiffy. Travelling along a country road looking for an obscure road sign? No Worries, I could read things from a kilometre away.

I recently turned 40 and whilst this has presented no issues for me, no mid-life crisis or prostate cancer, I have denied the fact that for the last year or two my eyes have been getting worse. I can read books no worries but trying to read a menu on a wall or a computer screen from a meter or more away or a street sign across the road and it all just gets fuzzy. I finally decided to do something about it. Phnom Penh is notoriously cheap for eye (and dental) work and so yesterday I got motivated and did the rounds.

First stop was Grand Optic on Sihanouk . My brother Adam very kindly had my wife a set made there (US$90 frames and lenses) and my sister had our mother a set made there ( $140 ). The staff are very helpful and the “eye guy” who tests your eyes on the very fancy new machine out the back really knows what he is doing. Within 10 minutes he had prescribed my lenses for my mid-sight problem and although I tried hard, I just could not find a set of frames I liked. I had my mind set on a Buddy Holly / Vietnam standard issue thick black set but that was a bit hopeful ( and probably stupid !). Never mind, he just told me to come back if I found some frames I liked an he would do the lenses for $16.

Then I went across the road to Eye Care and their frame selection was a little better. They did actually have a fairly chunky set of black frames but I thought it was a bit risky for my first set so I settled on a chocolate brown square pair made from plastic. $30 but 20% saw me pay $23.Out of interest I had their “eye guy” test me as well and he took forever to get only close to right. They also wanted $25 to fit the lenses so I purchased the frames and went back to Grand Optic for the lens fitting.

The $39 / 8 hour result? I can now see without any fuzziness! Even as I type this I am marvelling at the clarity of the words in front of me and I cannot believe I didn’t do this earlier. Bloody ripper.

Veasna moves in

Veasna

Due to a shift in Family living dynamics (I could explain but I can’t be arsed!), we have a new member of the family. Leakhana’s little 16 year old brother Veasna has moved in with us and I / we couldn’t be happier. Veasna had been living with Tra and Phalla and several cousins in a small one bedroom apartment and now that Tra and Phalla have moved in with Tra’s parents (there- I explained it! ), everyone has had to find alternative digs. With 8 people already living in the 2 bedroom family apartment near Central Market, Tra approached me about Veasna living with us. This was an absolute no brainer as I had already broached this topic with my wife months ago. I love Veasna like my own little brother and he is BRILLIANT with Grace. To see him with her is really something to behold. He adores her and will stay with her for hours.

The other thing is, the family seniors strongly suspect he MIGHT be gay. Well…it’s hard to say but he has very effeminate behaviour sometimes (but not quincy or noncy….just very gentle and girly) and he definitely did not want to go back to the main family apartment. Tra basically said to me “we think under your strong male guidance he will not be gay” and I retaliated with “er….mate….if he wants to knit…..I will buy him the wool and the knitting needles !! “. I made it clear to Tran and Phalla that Veasna will be whoever he wants to be under my roof and I will support him no matter what course he takes. That was a bit of a rude awakening to them but I think they appreciated my loyalty to Veasna and can see he will be well looked after.

We have given him his very first ever OWN room with a built in and drawers for his clothes and a desk for him to create all his artwork and bits and pieces at. I had him some custom made school shirts made at my tailor as a reward for being top of his class and I think he is happier than a pig in shit. He is very respectful of Leakhana and my space and after eating with us he discreetly disappears to his room to sleep or do homework or whatever. He only had one request when he moved in and that was could he bring his STUNNING bright red frangipani tree and some other plants with him and the garden now looks amazing ! I am going to give him regular pocket money every month and I will watch with interest how things develop over time. My initial feeling is that ( like a lot of things here in Cambodia ) things I stressed about when I thought about the concept, I should never have worried about.

Cellulitis = PAIN !

No – I don’t mean a dimply butt - I have that already. 3 years ago when I left Cambodia, I took back my first case of this nasty little bastard and it was not pleasant. I got on the plane in Phnom Penh with a red inflamed foot and got off the plane in Sydney with a watermelon attached to the bottom of my leg.

Last week I went to bed on Friday night at 9pm with a bit of a headache and within minutes I was shivering with a fever that rated 9.9 on the Richter scale. With 4 blankets on (including Grace’s baby blankets) my teeth were rattling and I felt like I was sleeping on sheet ice. After a night of hallucinatory pain and suffering I “awoke”(I swear I didn’t sleep a wink) to find that my lower right leg was again red and inflamed and sore as hell. In a groggy malaise, I spent the entire day in bed, only dragging myself out to go and say goodbye to my mum, and that was a real disappointment because I was not in the best form. In fact I was on the verge of throwing up at any second and could not even eat the soup I ordered. I had really wanted the goodbye to be special but I just couldn’t hold it together. Sorry mum!

Saturday night provided the same as Friday night with Leakhana covering me from head to toe in cold wet towels to keep the fever down and I spent the entire night groaning and hallucinating and fighting off imaginary intruders. Meanwhile the leg continued to expand and shoot pain from the ankle to the groin and all in all, I would rather have been dragged behind a truck along a tar road in my underwear. I self prescribed a couple of 500mg Amoxiclav, a few Tylonol and a Valium…all of which may as well have been tic-tacs.

Come Sunday morning, I capitulated and by 1p.m I was at SOS clinic where the doctor confirmed a nasty infection and told me I actually needed some 1000mg anti”bionics” and a daily IV treatment for the next few days. I got to spend a few hours in a nice quiet room on a clinic bed which was real bliss and the nurse even gave me a jelly because I was such a good patient. I left with walking cane as by now I could hardly stand unassisted and was soon back at home slumped on the couch.

So for the last week I have been lying around the house with my leg elevated and I have been scoffing pills at a rate of 10 a day. These invariably make me pass out for a few hours. The leg is slowly coming good and I am now sleeping much better (thanks for asking) and by the time this gets to press I should be 99% recovered.

Welcome to Cambodia – the Petri dish of South East Asia !

Mum and Ros come to town

Jan and Grace on first meeting...

Leakhana,Grace and Ros at Villa Langka

Well my mother Jan and her friend Ros have been and gone and it was a great visit. They were here for a total of 9 days and it was a very leisurely time for all of us. After picking them up at the airport I took them straight to The Compound for a Grace viewing session and both were instantly smitten with our little angel ( Jan’s 10^th grandchild ). Grace was awake and in good spirits and they almost tore her in two vying for cuddles. We were all soon poolside at Villa Langka forma dip and some dinner and the next day the girls took off for a day of shopping at Russian Market.

Dining at Scoop restaurant

The next night Jan took us all to Scoop, a new and absolutely fantastic restaurant just near the Intercontinental hotel. The dinner was to celebrate both Ros’ and our weeding anniversaries and we did not hold back. The starters were fantastic, the mains gob smacking and the desserts delicious. All washed down wit ac couple of South African whites and it was a great meal. I think Jan went into Sticker shock when the bill came as at US$250 it was not cheap BUT the service was fantastic the owner was a very nice chap who kept the ladies entertained viz hiz German banter jawol.

Mum massage at Knai Bang Chatt Sailing Club

Leakhana post massage

We then headed down to Kep Lodge for a few days and the drive down left mum and Roz white knuckled and in need of several stiff scotches. I forget having done so many trips that the roads in Cambodia really are eye-opening, shock-inducing experiences for newcomers. And we were only doing 70kph ! Still, we were poolside safely at Kep Lodge before too long and the next few days were spent doing nothing except sleeping, eating and swimming. Mum got to know her daughter-in-law a lot better (and I am sure now loves her even more!!) and got quality time with little Grace which made me very happy. Grace really took to both ladies instantly and was no trouble away from home at all.

Unfortunately poor Roz got slammed by a case of Cambodian Belly for 24 hours and so missed Massage Day at Knai Bang Chatt but she was better in time for cocktails at Verandah and a lovely seafood dinner at one of the famous crab shacks. We even took them out to our blocks and showed them around the outskirts of Kep.Mum was amazed at the derelict nature of Kep and all it’s bombed out concrete villas but could still see its charm and what it might become one day. All in all I think they both greatly enjoyed kep.

"I really loved meeting my Australian Yay Janna and her crazy friend Ros !"

Back in Phnom Penh they continued to shop whilst I came down with a bloody awful virus ( see here ) and so it wasn’t until their last night that we caught up again and I was in no fit state to be out of bed. It really was a very poor ending to an otherwise fantastic visit. I felt so sick I could barely shed a smile or express the emotion I wanted to. I was just so thrilled and humbled that Jan and Roz came all the way up to Cambodia to see Grace and I love them both very much for the effort they made. They got some awesome photos of me with Grace (I hardly have any!) and I look forward to getting the copies and framing some up.

A big thanks to both of you and lots of love from the Garnetts in Cambodia !

Our Womantic Wedding Anniversary Night out.

Mr and Mrs Phnom Pen, one year on......

After rushing home at lunchtime with a huge bunch of lime green lilys for Leakhana, I presented my lovely wife with her anniversary present - a 5 photo framed board of Apsara dancers. She absolutely loved it and it is now hanging in our bedroom. As I said on the card, she really is my heavenly Apsara ! ( cue ; violins ).

That night whilst the wife went off to get her hair done ( as any chap married to a Khmer lass will tell you....an important night out CANNOT happen without a visit to the Salon ) I showered and shaved and climbed into some finery including my freshly tailored hot pink French cuffed shirt complete with mother of pearl cuff links and my Beautiful Shoe Co Gucci style slides. Leakhana arrived back from the salon and had a few moments of fashion crisis before wisely choosing the "Bridget Bardot Swinging Sixties Cocktail dress" that Camille bought for her in Los Angeles. She looks so hot in this dress its amazing. With Grace being babysat by mum, we headed out into the night in a Tuk Tuk with alot of love in the air ( cue ; more violins).

Sky Bar view of Independence Monument and Sihanouk Boulevard.

Leakhana had no idea where we were going and first stop a building called The Place ( I guess the THE should be in Italics ?) which looks straight up Sihanouk Boulevard to Independence Monument. The first thing that hits you when you walk into The Place is the opulence. Black marble floors and walls and heavily silk embroidered silk upholsteries with crystal chandeliers overhead create a somewhat faux Versace-esque feeling. We are personally escorted by a staff member via the elevator to the 9th floor Sky Bar and this is indeed an eye opener. Whilst absolutely nothing like the Sky Bar in LA it is certainly probably the swishest place for a drink in Phnom Penh. The Chinese owners and designers have done a good job of creating a pretty amazing space, with many comfortable tables set up on a raised deck providing excellent vantage points to soak in the amazing 360 degree city views.

Sky Bar, Phnom Penh

After the initial sticker shock of the drinks prices ,we ordered two Martinis ( US$6 a pop ), an Espresso Martini for Leakhana and an extra Dry Gin Martini for me and then we sit down and take in the surrounds. There are some innovative firsts ; a dumb waiter to the ground floor kitchen for food and swish palm devices for all staff to order drinks on , however there are some of the usual " why did you go to all the trouble and expense yet miss these....." frustrations ; The lighting is shocking with bright white wall mounted lights providing the majority of the light. Some ambient silk lights here and there would have been much nicer. The young DJ absolutely SUCKED. 80s piano bar music a la Billy Joel, Elton John etc and then when he wasn't playing, some long haired Chinese crooner with an electric Piano started up in the corner doing his best Air Supply songs. Have you ever heard a Chinese guy sing Air Suppry ? " I'm or out of ruv, what am I wiwout you.....". Shocking. Hotel Costes tunes from a simple MP3 would have been much nicer.The drinks were terrible. My "extra dry" martini was sopping wet and the olives were pathetic little out-of-a-jar numbers whilst Leakhana's Espresso Martini was so sweet it was horrid. Sorry...but if I am paying $6 I want Metro ( a riverfront bar ) quality cocktails. Needless to say, it was nice but we soon scampered for dinner.

Bistro Lorenzo.

We had driven past Bistro Lorenzo on Street 63 many times with its alluring front and
thought " wonder that that's like...". After visiting 6 restaurants in the week before and perusing menus and wine prices etc, I decided that although this came in at the cheaper end of the scale, it was worth a shot. With a warm interior and a simply mouth watering and dizzying menu of Italian, Filipino, Middle Eastern and even Australian dishes.....I was looking forward to the food and hoping it would deliver. We were shown to a nice little table and soon had two frosty San Miguel beers in front of us and whilst Leakhana ordered some chicken and corn soup for entree, I ordered up some little toastie things that had melted mozzarella and sardines in the middle. Both these were fantastic. A bottle of Chilean Merlot was opened and a mixed platter of sizzling seafood Filipino style was delivered to the table with some steaming white rice. Again - bloody fantastic. To cap it all off, a creme caramel( $1 !! ) and some crepes with mango sorbet and vanilla ice cream ensured we were completely satiated. Another round of San Miguel beers and it was time to go. The food was fantastic and incredible value ( all up it was $35 ) but the service was crap. It seemed like every staff member ( all Filipino guys ) had a PS2 game device that they were intent on playing and I had to stop myself from wolf whistling every time we needed something. Would /will definitely go again.

River House Lounge

Next stop, Riverhouse Lounge's new downstairs bar which is very nice indeed. Tastefully kitted out and spacious with comfortable seats and couches everywhere, it will really cement RH as the one stop destination for eating, drinking and dancing. A quick beer at the bar and then upstairs for another and it was then home at a very respectable 10.30pm. A great night with my gorgeous wife and looking forward to everything the 2nd year brings.

1st Wedding Aniversary

From this ; Our third date in May 2006.Raffles Le Royale Hotel.

To this ; Minutes after I popped the question in April 2007. Kep Sur Mer.

To this ! ! ; Our Wedding . 3rd February,2008. Open Wine, Phnom Penh.


And it all produced this ; Our little amazing Grace

The Waitangi Hangi

Kiwis in Cambodia

No...not one of Bryan's bad debtors...the Hangi whilst cooking.

Yesterday was Waitangi Day and that means only one thing here in Phnom Penh. Anyone who is a Kiwi or an Aussie or basically just a free loader heads down to Takmeo for Bryan Hasetline’s yearly Waitangi Hangi. Bryan is a Kiwi steel fixer and he has a whopping great big shed with a whopping great big yard and plenty of boys toys in it. Every year he digs a hole in the ground and loads it with 500kg of lamb, pig and sweet potatoes and the resulting feast is something else.

Vichea,Leakhana,Phalla,Grace and Veasna.

Dirty work - uncovering the Hangi

Leakhana, Phalla, Veasna, Vichea, Grace and I all trundled down to Takmeo at 3pm in the Jeep and the shed was soon absolutely heaving with many familiar people from the expat crowd. Kids of all ages were in abundance, the beer flowed (but not for me – driving and all that!) and by 7pm, everyone was starving and it was time to dig up the tucker. Thankfully that job fell to Randall, Will and a few other Kiwi suckers. It was hot, dirty work and it took a goof half hour of shovelling to uncover the steaming baskets below.

Drooling crowds

Will and Randall lifting out the Hangi baskets laden with goodness

Dishing it out to the masses

The food was lifted out and manhandled to big trestle tables where it was then dispensed to the slathering crowd. Leakhana and Phalla ate their own body weight in meat and Veasna gorged on chocolate cake. The lamb was just amazing and was so tender it just fell off the bone. It was then a slow and dark ride back top Phnom Penh and sleep was swift.

My spunky wife

Big Party ? You will need BIG security.